You might not want a real girlfriend
right now, so why not fake one?
Every heterosexual single man wants a girlfriend - eventually.
But sometimes not right now. Maybe
you want to spend your energy climbing the career ladder and don’t have time to
commit to a full-on relationship?
Maybe you’ve just come out of
something long-term and want a bit of time to yourself?
Maybe you just want to stay
footloose and fancy free, at least for a while?
In which case, why not enjoy the
benefits of a fake girlfriend? We’re not kidding. Fake girlfriends exist and
more and more men have them. Here’s the lowdown on fake relationships and
what’s in it for you.
What is a
fake girlfriend?
A fake girlfriend is a girlfriend,
that’s fake. She isn’t real. And yet she kind of is.
Yes we know, it’s confusing. A fake
girlfriend is a girl who pretends to be in a relationship with you, so though
she’s real, the relationship isn’t. You get none of the obvious benefits of
having a real girlfriend, like sex, companionship and someone to moan at you
for not putting the loo seat down.
What you have instead is someone who
will write you letters and emails as if from a real girlfriend. They may send
you photos, videos and amorous texts. They will change their relationship
status on Facebook to make people think they’re in a relationship with you and
then post sweet little nothings on your wall.
And in return, you pay them. For $5,
for instance, you can have a fake Facebook girlfriend for a week.
Some will go further than that. A
website called Fake Internet Girlfriend offers a more complete service, with
girls who will change their Facebook status, send you soppy Twitter messages,
post romantically on your Facebook wall and even join your online gaming community
(for an extra charge) so you can look like the geek with the girlfriend.
“In fact, you can even have your
girlfriend join your guild, level up a character and even go on raids with you.
Just let us know when you contact us exactly what you are looking for in a
gamer girlfriend,” the site says.
Your Fake Internet Girlfriend will
even leave a message on your voicemail or phone your secretary to pretend to
set up a dinner date, so everyone really will think you’re dating. The rub? The
basic package costs $250 a month.
Erm, why
would you want a fake girlfriend?
Let’s be clear, your fake girlfriend
isn’t an escort, and nor will she send you pornographic material. Your $5 won’t
get you a cascade of saucy ‘sexts’ or a picture of her in her underwear. Titillation
isn’t really the point of fake girlfriends.
So what is the point? Good question.
Fake girlfriend “Sophia” told the BBC recently that: “It's mostly guys trying
to make someone else jealous. Or to make their profile look like they've got
girls all over them.”
Fake girlfriend adverts emphasise
the point. They can make your ex green with jealousy, or convince a girl you
really fancy that you’re the catch every girl is hoping to land. Your
succession of conquests is bound to pique the interest of watching women, and
in the world of social media everybody is always watching.
But fake girlfriends have been
around far longer than Facebook. Before social media they would write your
letters and emails, send photos and write romantic “thanks for dinner” type
texts.
Back then, many men claimed to use
the services to get nagging family off their backs. A fake girlfriend would
stop all those embarrassing questions from mums and grans. “When will you get a
nice girlfriend?” “When will you settle down?” “Why are you wasting all your
time at work?”
How do you
get a fake girlfriend?
Getting the (fake) girl is as easy
as shopping on Amazon. Visit a site like Fake Internet Girlfriend, Cloud
Girlfriend, Fiverr or Brazilian site Namaro Fake, describe what you’re looking
for, pay the fee and let the bogus loving begin.
But there’s a catch. As relationship
psychologist Jo Hemmings explains, a fake girlfriend might achieve your aim -
unless somebody finds out she’s fake. At that point, your fake relationship
could cause you a great deal of very real humiliation.
To avoid that scenario, there are a
few rules. Keep the fake relationships short. You don’t want to get to the
point when it’s starting to look a bit weird that nobody - even your best
friend - has ever met her.
Before entering credit card details,
devise a plausible scenario for how you met her. You can’t just blurt out that
you met her in a bar and then watch as your story unravels under a shower of
what?, when?, where? Questions from mates.
Finally, try to make sure your fake
girlfriend never writes anything on your wall that would seem ridiculous. So if
everybody knows you hate fish, don’t have her thanking you for the romantic
date at the seafood restaurant. Give her a few clues as to your likes and
dislikes to make her posts; tweets and texts seem more plausible.
After that, if you really want to
pretend to have a girlfriend, go for it. Just try to remember that the real
thing is much more fun.
By: Hugh Wilson
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