We know that bringing up a family is stressful and hard
work. From tantrums in supermarkets to deciding when your kids are old enough
to go out alone, disciplining your brood can be one of the greatest parenting
trials. And if you and your partner differ on your discipline styles, it can
make the process even more difficult. We’ve got some suggestions to help you
work out your own differences in disciplining style before you start talking to
the kids.
Never row in front
of the children
If you can’t agree on a particular situation, always step out of the room rather than discussing it in front of the children. When it comes to discipline, you need to put on a united front or your kids will spot your weaknesses and start running rings around you. Always discuss any situations rationally and try not to raise your voices. You run the risk of falling out with your partner and making the whole issue of disciplining the children more difficult.
Try different discipline styles
If you’re struggling to agree on discipline, why not try out a few different things until you find a style that works for both you and your kids? You’ll need to be careful not to change your minds too much or the children will get confused, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t try new tactics.
Discuss potential issues before hand
There are some issues that will arise over and over again. Sit down with your partner and discuss the situations you think are likely to arise. You should aim to agree on a few key ‘discipline policies’ which either parent can use at any time. Once your children start seeing a pattern in your reactions, their behavior is likely to significantly improve.
Don’t undermine your partner
If your partner has started disciplining your kids and you don’t agree, stay quiet. If you undermine him in front of the children, it’ll make it much harder for you to maintain a united front. If you disagree with his actions, take him aside afterwards and explain why you have a problem. Together you can devise a plan to either change the punishment or sort out a different response for future similar situations.
Negotiate
Just like the disagreements you have with the children, the key to success is negotiation. If one parent wants to come down hard while each other wants to play it soft, work out a happy medium. After all, parenting is a team effort so you really should be leaning on each other for support.
If you can’t agree on a particular situation, always step out of the room rather than discussing it in front of the children. When it comes to discipline, you need to put on a united front or your kids will spot your weaknesses and start running rings around you. Always discuss any situations rationally and try not to raise your voices. You run the risk of falling out with your partner and making the whole issue of disciplining the children more difficult.
Try different discipline styles
If you’re struggling to agree on discipline, why not try out a few different things until you find a style that works for both you and your kids? You’ll need to be careful not to change your minds too much or the children will get confused, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t try new tactics.
Discuss potential issues before hand
There are some issues that will arise over and over again. Sit down with your partner and discuss the situations you think are likely to arise. You should aim to agree on a few key ‘discipline policies’ which either parent can use at any time. Once your children start seeing a pattern in your reactions, their behavior is likely to significantly improve.
Don’t undermine your partner
If your partner has started disciplining your kids and you don’t agree, stay quiet. If you undermine him in front of the children, it’ll make it much harder for you to maintain a united front. If you disagree with his actions, take him aside afterwards and explain why you have a problem. Together you can devise a plan to either change the punishment or sort out a different response for future similar situations.
Negotiate
Just like the disagreements you have with the children, the key to success is negotiation. If one parent wants to come down hard while each other wants to play it soft, work out a happy medium. After all, parenting is a team effort so you really should be leaning on each other for support.
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